On trying too hard

Sometime late last summer I started to get really into fashion again. I hadn’t been shopping for anything but maternity shiz in years and it was time to bite the bullet, accept this figure and start building anew.

I have always been a (mild) slave to fashion, when I was in middle school, I started tearing out pages from my Seventeen magazine and pinning them in my closet for inspiration. I love to put an outfit together as much as I do a room. But here’s the thing. You can accessorize the crap out of a room, but doing it on your person is a different game.

I love accessories, more than clothes, really. All I really need is a few pair of jeans and some t-shirts and I can do the rest with jewelry and shoes and scarfs. During the week, I’m super mom-wardrobe though, half time in (sweaty) gym clothes the other half in simple throw on pieces, basically jeans and t-shirts with no accessories.

So, here’s what I’m struggling with. When I have something coming up, from a date night to a baby shower, I take it too seriously. I plan out every piece of everything right down to my makeup. In the end I usually like the result but as soon as I get where I’m going, I feel like an idiot. I’m almost always overdone. I don’t think anyone cares, but I feel stupid if I’m the only one in heels for brunch. I probably shouldn’t, but I do.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it takes to look effortless, and you know, EFFORT. And it’s not easy, I think I do a better job on the verge of ridiculous than I do of polished casual.

I tried to be simple for my last girls night out and it was toned down, very neutral and quiet, but when I got to dinner, stupid. How I can f up jeans, a t shirt with a scarf and flats, I don’t know but I did.

Some of this is just insecurity but it’s also that I’m getting older, I should have this figured out by now. You know?

Do you know how to look amazing AND like “oh, this old thing?” at the same time?

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8 thoughts on “On trying too hard

  1. I have opinions on this.

    My opinions are:
    –I don’t ever think you look like you are trying too hard.
    –I think it’s perfectly okay to be overdressed, and to own it. I’m often overdressed for things and I have decided I give zero poops about it. Remember when women wore hats and heels to travel in? It’s okay to keep shit fancy, if that’s what you like.
    –I think figuring out what looks good on you, inside and out, is a lifelong process because our bodies change and our openness to wearing certain things change.
    –I think you are beautiful.

  2. I agree with K. You should do you and not worry about it. Be marvelous love, why hold yourself back because of “convention”?

  3. Totally agree with K! I always feel it’s better to be overdressed than underdressed, and also, every outfit I’ve ever seen you post looks amazing. Own it, lady! I also do the same thing though- being at home 90% of the time makes me want to wear my fancy stuff (all 2 things) to the grocery store because PEOPLE! PUBLIC! YAY! Then I start to feel silly because it’s the grocery store. Heh.

  4. I think you always look chic as shit (trademark ME), but I get how it is living in the suburbs and feeling over-dressed. BUT, you always look great and you OWN it, so keep owning it. Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke.

  5. Basically, I’d like to reiterate, at the top of my voice, everything Home Sweet Sarah and K said. EVERYTHING. You are lovely and Chic As Shit, and when I went out with you girls last August, I felt overdone and prissy in my pencil skirt next to you and your kickass peplum top and heels. I think we all have that stupid voice that compares us to other people and finds us lacking; the trick is telling it to shut the fuck up. Some days that’s easier said than done, I know. But know this: that voice is full of shit.

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