Comic Releif

We’ve lived in this home for 6 years. Every door locks the same way. Vertical is locked, horizontal, unlocked. Exterior doors and interior alike. 6 years.



It was a sucky weekend in terms of sleep and alone time. Nate was running a fever on Friday so he went down easy but was up many times. If he had an Indian name it would be coitus interruptus. We were tired on Saturday but Nate was feeling better so that was good. Weekend re-start! After all, Saturday night was date night. We were going to see Argo (incredible!) and out to dinner. I planned my outfit, I was ready to get out!

It was a good night, but our meal wasn’t that great, and it was expensive which always pisses me off. If I’m going to spend what I would for a weeks worth of grocery’s on one meal, it had better rock my socks. So I was a little disappointed. We got home around 10:30 and Nate was up, the sitter said he would fall asleep but couldn’t stay down.

The night was a wash after that. I must have come and gone from his room 10 times before I fell asleep hard enough for him to climb in bed with me.  I woke around 5 and Mike was asleep in his clothes, candles lit, drinks poured. Another night gone.

Sunday was crabby, for all of us. None of us got more than a few hours of sleep, Ben included, though he typically sleeps through, he hadn’t. I was weepy all day long. Feeling defeated, not knowing what to do about this boy and his inability to sleep alone. I kept complaining, wondering how we got here. These kids came home from the hospital and went to their rooms, we didn’t co-sleep. We still “don’t”- but Nate has gotten good at the slither and I don’t always know he’s in my bed.

I couldn’t even bring myself to get dressed. I just sulked around and did some chores, exhausted and sad. Mike offered to do the grocery shopping so I made him a list and off he went. While he was gone Nate declared I was the worst mother ever for denying him computer time, I cried. Then I got busy.

Mike’s a slow shopper but I am a fast cleaner when I’m upset. I cleaned out the fridge and pantry, ran a load of dishes, some clothes, vacuumed the house, made beds and cleaned a bathroom before he got home. When he did I was laying face down, in my pj’s, on the bed. The kids were full of Hoorays when he arrived (jerks) and I just layed there. Taking a few deep breaths before I had to join the circus again.

They were all unloading the groceries from the car, in and out, in and out. And Ben, and his godforsaken door slamming had closed the door to the garage. I felt it slam, then I heard Mike, “oh, shit, Ben… Now I can’t get it open…..oh, no,  (feeling the house wiggle, over and over as he pulls trying to open the door) Mike calls to me. I come down.

All three of them are standing in front of the door, I look down at the knob, unlock it, open the door and fall to the floor snort laughing with tears running down both cheeks. THAT was exactly what I needed after a weekend like this.


Sunday night was perfection! Both boys went down fast and slept ALL NIGHT LONG. I actually had to wake Nate at 8:30 for school. I feel human again and it will be a long time before I forget the time Mike couldn’t open the locked door. A very long time.


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