Feet dragging

A theme has come over my life in the past two or so years. “I’m too tired to go on.” I say it all day, every time I have a chance to sit down and 1000 times per phone call with my sister and every damn time I have to unload the dishwasher. And honestly, every time I say it I mean it. I’m tired.

I’m so physically tired that my body is heavy and my feet are wearing concrete shoes, my knees creak with each step. I have sore muscles in my back from poor posture because being this tired makes me slouchy. I have a ton of headaches, I just assume they are related. I workout hard, harder than I’ve ever worked out in my life which is the only thing that really gets me through my day but without fail, three hours after that workout I could fall asleep behind the wheel of my car. But without the workout, I’d never make it.

I’m mentally out of it. My mind doesn’t so much wander it just tunes out. I have a hard time concentrating. Cooking takes forever, my to-do lists are often half of a list because I just start to space and I’ve had the same book on my night-table for two months. This works well for gym time, I just move without thought until I can’t move any longer.

The problem is so simple, get more sleep. The solution seems obvious. The kids wake randomly at night and get up early, anywhere from 4:30 am on. I pull them in my bed, grab two eggos, two sippys, turn on the tv and sleep for a few minutes at a time until the sun is up. I go to sleep around 11:30, the same time I’ve gone to bed for years. Sometimes a little earlier but that’s just bedtime, it’s when my body finally stops me in my tracks. I just don’t get enough sleep.

I love sleep. I miss it. I miss it so much. And as out of balance life seems without it, I’d stay up forever for these kids.

 

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5 thoughts on “Feet dragging

  1. Oh, I know that feeling – and I think you’re a superhero for going on this way for so long. I wish I could help you to take a night off, run to a hotel and sleep. Big cheesy internet hugs to you.

  2. Being tired makes me cry and feel like everything is the End of Times.

    You have my admiration and awe at how you manage your days on so little of it.

  3. this is probably not what you were looking for, but being the mama to two boys, almost 5 and 2.5, I totally felt tired all the time too. I would sit my 2yr old in front of the tv in my room and nap for as long as he would let me during the day- so so bad for him and for me. I know we aren’t the same person, but this might be worth a try if you can find it. Our Costco was doing one of those isle demos for ‘zip fizz’ and we ended up trying it. I swear I could hear better after half the bottle. We’ve (me and the hubs) been taking one a day for just over a month and I haven’t HAD to take a nap at all. I mean, I still want more sleep- who wouldn’t want to sleep past 6am?, but I can concentrate better and actually get thru my day, happily, until 10:30pm. I tried to skip a day to see if it was really making a difference. OH MAN, I hit the wall at 9am, like a 12′ tall solid steel wall. I’m going to be spending $60 a month on this stuff for the rest of my life. I think it’s the 2500mcg of B12 that makes the difference, but I don’t really care. I just like that it works for me. Hope you find a way to wake up soon too! I hated that tired no matter what feeling.
    xo- Cat

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