It happens daily and right before my eyes. One of them does something new and catches my attention. One wakes up taller and thinner, the other says “I’d recommend having the marshmallows.” I’m caught off guard by every third move, a sideways glance that reveals my face, or Mikes or very often in Ben, my paternal grandfather.

It’s such a gift, being a mother. The ability to create these people and then be able to stay home with them and watch them grow.  Ben, who doesn’t speak much, understands everything we say and follows directions like he’s in boot camp. Nate with his scrunched up face yells, “FINE THEN, You figure it out.” Or tells stories about his life outside of home and on his own, finding his way at school and making friends.

They play together like they knew each other before they got here. How can you have such a bond in such a short time? Watching kids together they teach each other so much.  They teach me so much by watching and by letting them work out their problems.  Nate teaches Ben his dance moves and they hold hands in the car and kiss each other goodnight and trade sippys when Ben has milk but wants Nates juice.

Everyday, they get bigger and better at life and I realize that they are doing this in preparation of leaving me. And hot ham, as crazy as they made me today I’m not ready for them to be that big.


3 thoughts on “Bigger

  1. Every time I ask The Boy, 4, who told him he could keep growing and why he continues to do so, he says, “Momma, that’s just the way the world works.”

    And then my heart bursts with pride and longing to keep this little guy bottled up on my shelf just the way he is right now.

  2. You know, I don’t worry about Ezra or Iris starting pre-school or kindergarten or even leaving for college. What always makes my stomach drop and take pause is thinking of them getting married. Because, for me, that’s when it feels like they will be leaving me.

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