Just different

This pregnancy started out so much like Nate’s with pure excitement and nausea.  Then I went into the stage where I couldn’t believe that it was real, that another person was going to be born (and from MY body, AGAIN) and then get to live with us.  That’s about it though.  The rest is just sort of different.

Different in a way that’s sort of old hat.  In a way that I’ve done it before.  I look in the mirror at my body and I look exactly the same, the way I am carrying, the veins the boobs resting on the belly, the poking half out naval, it’s just the same.   Oddly, the similarities make it different because I’m not experiencing it for the first time, there aren’t any real surprises, I know what to expect for the duration.  Hugly swollen feet and ankles, more weight gain and thicker and longer hair.

I think this time it’s a lot less about the pregnancy than it is about the baby.  I love being pregnant for the most part, I love feeling the baby roll and thump around.  I sure don’t mind the nice hair and nails and I love a good whopper with cheese because “this is my last pregnancy” but I’m not as consumed by it this time.  I don’t stop and hold my belly with every bump or walk around with a grin on my face.  I’m walking with more of a waddle and some days a limp because of my hip, this time around, I just want my baby.

I wanted to be pregnant with both babies, for sure.  It’s just that the first time when it’s all new it’s (oh I hate to say it) so much more exciting!  And let me tell you, there isn’t much excitement in knowing that the Charlie horses and peeing when you sneeze are right around the corner.  I want this baby just as much as I did Nate, but this time it’s a little more about the destination than the journey.

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3 thoughts on “Just different

  1. After the initial shock (and week long crying session) – the pregnancy with Evan was the same as you are describing. At first, I thought I was having a girl. When we found out he was a boy – I was more relaxed. I was actually looking forward to giving birth, to holding him. I knew what to expect. I was more calm. I definitely think that had TONS of an effect on him, because he’s less neurotic than his brother. More willing to sit back and watch the wind rustle the leaves. Whereas Brody is more willing to climb the tree and see if he can jump from it.

  2. I’ve often wondered how the second pregnancy would be. I only have one child so far, but my fear is that pregnancy will feel So Much Longer since none of it will be a novelty, and instead all of it will be just a waiting game – like a favorite novel you read again, even though you know all the parts, just because you love the ending so much. Here’s to a speedy, easy pregnancy!

  3. Love that last line.

    I love hearing about this second baby and pregnancy. It’s hard for me to picture how it will be for us, so it’s nice to have a little window.

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