A Chat with my Fetus

Hi, baby! 

Wow, you sure are tiny!  See, I know this because I just saw you the other day, you’re like, an inch long.  One inch, that’s like {———–} this big, see? Pretty small.  So, what is up with my pants?  I’ll have you know that you’ve made me a bit more ill than your big brother did and I’ve not gained a single ounce (with him, boy that kid didn’t care, I was up a good 6 lbs buy now) so, seriously, what are you doing in there?   I mean, I understand that some things have to shift upward to make you comfy and that’s cool but you’re one inch long, and my pants, they do not button.   When I was watching you on the tv screen they took your measurements; you are a little bigger than Nate was at the exact same age.  Maybe you should back away from the onion rings? 

Also, whats with the  Joel McHale obsession?  Why must you force me to dream about him so much, he is everywhere.  At the grocery store, Hanukkah, story time, anywhere I am in a dream you’ve got him in the background.  Granted these locals could use a little spicing up but do we watch the soup that often that you already know who he is?  Very odd pudgy one, very odd.

Love you tiny toot!


ps- I call Christmas- DONT MESS WITH ME on Christmas, kid!


4 thoughts on “A Chat with my Fetus

  1. This is so funny. Darn babies, being such cute trouble right from the start!!

    I love Joel McHale, so I think this little Olive and I will get along juuuust fine. 🙂

  2. Oh, I remember those days! I was throwing up most of what I tried to eat and still had to wear elastic waists by 10 weeks. First to second pregnancies are so different!

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