The Man Cave

Ashley writes:

Our living room is dark. I mean windows are in the back of the house so the sun rises at the back therefore around 5pm we have to use the lamp so we don’t trip over dog toys. On top of this room being dark, the walls are painted burgandy…<–not my picking, done before I was even thought of. How can I convince Andy to go lighter with the wall color?? It’s slowly killing me…and he won’t budge.



This is sort of relationship related as well as a decor question.  I like it, it made me laugh because I too live with one of these men.  The ones you hear about but never thought they actually existed.   A guy with an opinion.  You hoped you’d find a nice “yes, Dear”  guy.  A guy who hears 50% off and says go for it.  Or one who is so removed wouldn’t notice if you got a new fridge unless you moved his beer. Well, we didn’t get one of those.  We got the man with the opinion. 

Ash, my suggestion is this.  Tread lightly.  I’m going to assume that Andy is a little like Mike and this room didn’t become this color on a whim.   Andy likes this burgundy, this man cave he has created.   “He wont budge.”   I hate how this sounds but you have a bit of a mind game on your hands.  Getting a guy to change his mind is tricky.

I would get your hands on lots of catalogues you like.  Crate & Barrel, West Elm, Ballard Designs, whatever is your style.  Leave them around, stick one in the pile of his Sports Illustrated or in the bathroom.  Somewhere he might notice.  Look at them in front of him A LOT.   Comment on what you are looking at and show him what you like.   While doing this don’t just say “OH, check out that couch.”  Get specific.   “I love the way this room looks so warm and sunny.”  “See how bright and fresh this looks?”  “Oh, this would look great with our existing floors.” “This room would make me feel like I was at the beach, what could be more calming than that after a day at work?”  At some point he is bound to agree with you ( I hope.)  When/If that happens this is your chance.   Keep talking about it.  “I was thinking this room could use a different feel.”  Avoid saying its killing me to hang out in this vampire hut.  He already knows this.  You may have to twist your meaning a little to get him to listen to you. If this doesn’t work, get your friends in on it.  Even better, HIS friends.  “Dude, it’s too dark in here!’  

If none of this works you’re going to have to just tell him the truth.   “Look, Andy.  I moved in here and I know it’s “your” house but I really don’t feel at home in this room.   I know you want me to be happy, and for me to be able to relax after a day of work I need a lighter color.  Please come with me to pick out some paint.”  If you just can’t deal with all of this then go out to dinner tonight.  It’s Friday, then tell him you’re going to home depot or Lowe’s or whatever right after because you can’t live one more day in that hole.  Tell him that a gallon of paint is a hell of a lot less expensive than new curtains and 8 lamps.  If he is still resisting, maybe you have to compromise and let him have an accent wall with the current color.  I am not advising this but it may help out and keep some peace.

Good Luck!

4 thoughts on “The Man Cave

  1. Vampire Hut…I love it!

    Thanks for the suggestions, I will try them for sure.
    Maybe i’ll just paint it while he’s away one weekend…see if he even notices. HA HA!

    Thanks again…miss you!

  2. This totally made me grin… I have a Man With Opinion as well. Really makes me jealous of my mom sometimes; my dad never noticed when she changed anything. 😉

    Most of the time I’m able to distract and override when he gets on one of these tangents. Good luck, Ashley!

  3. I have a question: Is it that he likes red, or that he likes the dark red? If he just likes red he might be willing to compromise with a lighter shade that would brighten up the room. If he likes dark colors… Well, that’s another problem altogether. And whatever happened to that trend where people were painting three walls one color and painting the fourth a highlight color?

    And Christina… I think it’s cool you’re doing this. I’ll send you questions if I can ever convince Ricky/my parents to let me decorate. 🙂

  4. Oh let me tell you, he likes the dark. I had to convince him to put a lamp in the living room just so we wouldn’t have to watch TV in the dark. Men…i tell ya…

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