Finished

Well dear Internets, we have arrived at the final post about my boobs!  YAY!  I know you’re excited.  Also, this is your chance to sneak out the back door before anyone sees you….

I don’t really need to go into how hard or rewarding nursing your child can be.  I am grateful that I was able to for as long as we both wanted.  That’s really what this is about, I guess.   Nate is 14 months 3 weeks and I just put him to bed for the first time without nursing.  He cried and reached out for me, I got choked up and rocked him for a few extra minutes and then I closed the door and turned down the monitor.  He got quite after 2 minutes and fell right to sleep.

As time went on he has become less and less into it.  For the past few weeks he has been sitting up or pulling away to talk to me.  The last couple of nights were a struggle to keep him in my lap and he didn’t eat much at all.   I knew it was time.

Actually, I have been ready.  I mentioned to Mike that I was  done after we got home from Florida but he encouraged me to go through the end of the month which was my “end date” and had been for a few months.   

Each night I would think about how many times I cried in that rocker.  How hard the past 15 months have been and how many thousands of times I just wanted to quit.    Even with all of that I wasn’t sure I would ever get to the place were I could say that I was over it.   But I am, and so is he.

I don’t think I will miss it.  I spent so much time agonizing over it.  Ohh meh bebbah,  I don’t get to hold you anymore, you are so busy, so big, so not my baby.   It is true,  but he comes up to me and hugs me, kisses me making a “mmmm” noise.  He pats my back and with that chubby little hand he pats my face.  I am getting plenty of special time with him that I no longer needed the few minutes at the end of the day.  And, neither did he.

I guess I am just happy that we were both ready at the same time.   I shouldn’t be surprised that all of the worrying I have done over the past 6 months over all of this was for nothing.  I wish I knew then that it would all work itself out and that none of this planning was necessary.   I wish I could have been more relaxed and known that it was fine to let it happen when we were ready.  That I didn’t have to force it. 

I don’t know how to wrap this up.  I didnt really plan on writing about it but I needed something to do while watching the monitor.  Even though I knew he was ready I never expected him to fall asleep so quickly.   Now if I dont go into some tailspin hormonally we will be all set.  Good move the week of Christmas… that too is probably a rookie mistake.

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9 thoughts on “Finished

  1. Congrats on a job well done Mom! I know just how you feel. Seriously, watch out for the hormones though. At least you’ll know what it is if you get crazy weepy in the next week!

  2. You make me cry.
    I hope the next few days go well for you. I can’t imagine that it’ll be easy for you, but I’m glad Nate is taking it well. Hopefully, if he takes it well, it’ll be easier for you too. And I hope the festivities this week help keep your mind off of it.
    Anyway, you’ll be in my thoughts. And congratulations for making it for a whole year, and then some!

  3. I’m very proud of you. I hope you have a great Holiday. (i’m jealous of the 15 days)

    love you guys…
    xoxoxo

  4. Congratulations! I hope to be where you are in a few months, as I am almost ready to throw in the towel. But, like you, I know I will miss the snuggle time we have now. Luckily you should be busy enough this week to let the sadness of the moment not take over!

  5. Congratulations!!! Gosh, what an accomplishment!! Such a gift, breastfeeding, even through all the pain and frustration.

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