It’s 6 am. Nate starts making noise. I roll to Mike who is not there, “He’s kidding, right?” I roll back over, grumble. “Damn kid, it’s too early!” Pull covers over head, ignore baby fall back asleep. Wake up 3 minutes later, he is not kidding, kid wants up. Ignore a while longer, he’s not crying he’s just awake.
7am we are eating breakfast listening to Harry Conic Jr sing Frosty the Snowman, he is dancing and has his first dose of OMG my molars are all coming at once, Motrin. All is well.
8am- who’s demon child is this? He is tired but it is too soon to go down for a nap. Decide to hike em’ up and deal with it until 9:30
9:31 am SCREAMING! WAHHHHH_ EHHHHEHHHE
9:50am-I give in and get him up.
9:53am- Seriously, who is this kid? Dog wants out. put on 18 layers, wander around yard while he picks the perfect spot. Freeze.
10am resort to Disney channel and lay on the floor playing until next nap attempt in one hour. Good lord help me survive one more hour.
11am Starts promising, he snuggles in with tigger and his blanket and is quite. Take dog out again, bundle up- dump droppings- un bundle.
11:20am get the little shit up, change his diaper and contemplate abandoning my car with demon child under an overpass.
12-noon Lunch time. Food on floor, my clean top and jeans, my shoe, his shoe, dogs back and in his hair.
12:10 wish I were dead
12:30 we both change. I make my grocery list and tell him to suck it up. We are going out. I am a bit stressed. We need do our regular shopping and hit Sam’s Club. This will not be a short trip.
1pm- things are going okay thanks to the pacifier and a can of black beans he is shaking.
1:23 he is getting restless; grab bag of holiday marshmallows, open, feed kid. Nutritious!
1:30 in car, going to Sam’s both of us are in a sugar coma. This is better than fussing
1:40- Sam’s is Nate’s playground, he is happy and we are almost done. I am on fire with my list.
2pm we are on the way home, he is looking sleepy. Oh please be sleepy.
2:15pm- after a quick change and 2nd dose of Motrin I lay him down. He passes out! Take dog out, again!
I unload all of the food and talk on the phone for a bit. Get absolutely nothing done.
3:15pm- Whaaaa! He’s F’ing kidding, right?
3:18pm- wish I were dead. Can not handle one more second of this crying or whining. Must get him up. Dog is growling at me- there is no way I am going out again, feed him, hope he shuts up.
3 hours till Dad gets home. I don’t know if I will make it. Thank goodness days like this are few and far between. I am going to spend the next few hours with him, playing and reading and not trying to sneak away to check email. And, tomorrow is a girls day with facials and lunch and some Christmas shopping. I will survive, I will! I think….