This is one of my favorite holidays.  Second only to Christmas.  I love it, seeing the kids all dressed up and happy.  Watching them leap over flower beds and bolt across the lawn with their pillow case flying behind them like a weighted cape.   I feel like a kid myself on Halloween.  The last time I went trick or treating I was in 7th grade and was with my 3 sisters, Mom, Aunt and Uncle.    I felt too old that year so that was that.  Back then we didn’t trick or treat with friends it was a family night and one I always enjoyed.  Probably why I cling to it years later.   I now feel like an 8 year old every year as it approaches.   As soon as the candy comes out (you know, in August!) I start browsing and when the decorations are in stock it is on.  The anticipation just keeps building.  Now that we have Super Nate I feel like I get an annual do-over.  

Tonight we had our first chance.   He loved it, we went around a little to say hi to neighborhood friends and then came back home to answer the door.  He got excited with every kid that came to the door.    I hope that he likes this holiday as much as I do as he grows up.  I also hope he likes me enough that I can at least trail a block behind and keep an eye on him for both safety and my own enjoyment.   This year he was the Spider- a very busy little spider that was not going to sit still long enough for a good photo- we had to strap him in to get even this.  Happy Halloween!



I asked for your advice about skin care and got some great answer’s and ideas.  There were two that I loved, cheap and easy.  Victoria said not to wash daily, sounds great and is a good idea especially during the dry winter months.  But I wear makeup everyday so that won’t work for me.  Carrie told me her routine (after I placed an order) of Cetaphil and witch hazel.  I used witch hazel to combat my forehead of aqua net pimples when I was sporting the wall o’ bangs in middle school, I could remember it’s scent immediately. I wanted to use it again just to sniff it.  I have never tried Cetaphil, but have always been curious.  Laura reminded me of Avon’s Anew line.  I got excited about that.   Avon, I had forgotten all about you! I remember the beautiful women in their ad’s a few years ago dancing around holding a birthday cake.  I went to their site and was even more excited,  they had a quiz!  A quiz about your skin and your goals and at the end it gave the recommended product line up.  Well Avon, not as affordable as you lead on.  $165 for my personal skin care regime.  Pass, too expensive.  Sarah mentioned Amazing Grace by Philosophy and then QVC for good pricing.  That reminded me that Amalah is a die hard Philosophy lover so I went to the Smackdown and read up on some of her favorite products. I had never been to the QVC site so I went there next.

After a few days of looking around in stores and on line for my answer to the fine line’s and tired Mommy eyes, I made a decision.  I ordered the aging kit from QVC.  It has Purity (8 oz) Hope in a Jar (2oz) Hope in a Tube (.5oz) and Microdelivery pads- 60 count.  If you were to order these items alone from Sephora it would run you $146, twice what I paid!  Sarah, I totally owe you a salted caramel HC!  I would have never, ever thought of QVC.

I have the products now and love them.  After just two uses I actually see improvement around my mouth already.  The Microderm pads are a gentle acid exfoliate that goes on nice and smooth but you can feel it doing its job.  The Purity wash is so gentle and non drying, it feels great when  you use it and your face doesn’t have that tight feeling afterward.  I LOVE the Hope in a Jar!  It feels too light to do anything, when I was scooping it out of the jar I was worried.  On your face it is very nice and light.  Not too heavy to wear under your makeup. (One downside is it doesn’t have any spf-which you can get but not in the kit)  I love the Hope in a Tube as well, it is for both your eyes and your lips.   I have been using Clinique’s All about Lips for years and am almost out so that was a great bonus.  I haven’t been using this long enough to really tell you that you should buy it, all I can say is that I like it so far.  We’ll see how I do with breakouts and if any of my aging signs actually diminish over time.

One other thing, Sarah and Lizzy both love Amazing Grace, which I nearly ordered just because they like it and I trust them both.  I was thrilled to see my order came with a free sample.  I used it this morning,  I like the product, it feels great and hours after my shower my skin is still moisturized.  What I don’t care for is the smell!  I kept realizing that it was me that I smelled while I was shopping today.  I wouldn’t mind it if I just stuck my nose in a jar but having it follow me around for hours on end is driving me crazy.  Which, if you like the scent I would say BUY IT!  It is very long lasting.


p.s.  Am I the only one who keeps wasting money on Burts Bee’s gloss?  I cannot get a good color and yet I can’t stop buying it!  Must, try, one, more, tube.    Today was the last one, Burt!  We are OVER.


Heard of it? November is National Blog Posting Month.  I idea is to post everyday the entire month.  The idiotic thing is I am considering participating this year.  The idiocy comes in that I have been completely and utterly blocked for about a week, nothing to say, nothing to report.  Nada.  However, I am thinking about it.  Making a list of what to write about, and on it is wordless Wednesdays for a little help if needed.  I will probably do NaBloShoeMo- where I take a picture of the shoes I am wearing everyday for a month.  I bet that will get more hits than my blog- heh!

Should I do it?  Are you going to do it?


This weekend was not good.  Nothing bad happened it was just a mess.  Nothing worked out, things fell through, we got lost (shakes fist at GPS), and it was just lame. LAME!  

I have been trying very very hard to fight a case of the blah’s for a good two weeks.  Feeling bored and irritable all the time is really exhausting.  Taking care of a kid who has taken to whining is also exhausting.  I have been trying, this weekend sort of rubbed salt into my wound.  Blah. 

Moving on.

I woke up to it snowing this morning.  I ran to get Nathan up and show him with a smile and as we looked out the window I heard the music cue.  Dun dun dunnnnnnnn.  It dawned on me that this could be a really long hard winter.  Snow before Halloween.  Before we set the clocks back,  before all of the leaves have fallen.  Am scared.

I have been seeing signs around that read Trick or Treat Thursday October 30th 6-8.   I HATE that!  Halloween is Friday, what is wrong with Friday?    Also, how do I know if this applies to my neighborhood?  The signs are in odd places not at any neighborhood entrances’. We don’t have a HOA so I don’t have the first clue how to check.  Ideas? *Nevermind- I found our town website- it is the 30th* I now have to modify Nate’s costume a little. He was going to go sleeveless and wear crocs but now its freezing.  Need turtle neck and socks.   Last year it was so warm we (Mike, I was nursing my 3 week old baby) left the front door open most of the night.  

Last night I got the itch to get some stuff done and took out the bins of outgrown clothes in Nate’s closet.  Mike and I sat on the floor together making sad faces and gasping “OH look how small!”  “Remember this one?”  Everything is packed away now, in bins by size, newborn, 0-3, 3-6, 6-9.  Then this morning I went through his toys again and put more of them away, too.  This felt really good.  Nate’s closet is clean now that I have the bins in the basement and his toy heap is a little less of a heap.  Next up is getting the saucer out of the living room.  Mike convinced me to leave it be until we put the Christmas tree in its place. 

I also did a little makeover on my 1/2 bath yesterday.   There were a few things in there that I hated once I got them home and had been living with them for about a year.  In a effort to save my own mind I went out alone for a few hours yesterday and after getting myself a salted caramel hot chocolate (totally lived up to its hype!)  I went and found a few things that I liked better.  It is much better now.  I have some nail hole patching and a little paint touch up but the room belongs in our house now.   I wish I had the guts to tear down the wains coating and put up a modern wallpaper.  But, I don’t.  Oh well.

Then I went looking for bedding.  I have a better idea of what Mike is thinking of after some gentle grilling with visual examples and once I can get him out of the house to do this with me I think it will be okay.  I can’t wait.  I really want to get the room started.   I can’t wait to get curtains up in there to darken it and keep it cozy.  I want a warm little cocoon for the winter.  Seeing snow fall this morning just gets my wheels spinning. 

This week I have a list of things to do to try and stay on the other side of this bummer of a mood.  I think we may go to the outlet mall and hit up Pottery Barn.  I want some Christmas decorations.  Nate needs a stocking and we need hangers for the fireplace and some other odds and ends and PB carries the same stuff in the outlets as they do in the regular stores for holidays but at a discount! (shhh, that’s a secret!)    That should be a good day, it’s about a 40 minute drive each way so we can make a day of it.  Maybe we will go tomorrow, I am getting excited just writing about it.

So Moms, help me out here.  How do I find out about trick or treating?  Also, what do you do to snap out of it when your on the verge of blowing your top but nothing is really wrong?   I think I am doing what I can with working out and trying to stay busy but what do YOU do?

<3’ing the Shred

You guys, I’m totally drinking the kool aid now!  I am really loving this workout.  Level 2 is the perfect combination of ass kicking and fun.   In level 2 Jillian is officially my personal trainer.  I can hear her when she tells me this is my workout, don’t slack, just a few more and we are done.  She has a way of piping in just as you start to feel yourself sinking in and loosing form.  She also said during a cardio phase, I want you to be gurgling your heart at the end of this.    Let’s just say she would be proud.  At the end of the worlds shortest cool down she looks right at the camera and tells you that you did an amazing job and she will see you tomorrow.  As corny as that is, and sounds, it is exactly what you want to hear after gurgling your own heart.

Level 2 is so much fun!  Really.  It is harder than 1 for sure but not as hard as I thought.  There were two moves that had me swearing at the TV but isn’t that the point?  It has to be hard and has hurt to get the results.

Anyway, I’m so completely committed to this now and couldn’t be more excited to see where it takes me.  Both in physical endurance and to see what it does for my body.

It’s only $10.99 guys, hop on the bandwagon!


Today is one of the days you are afraid of when you are looking toward your expansive belly at your day job.  Sitting in a seat that draws a paycheck, you look at the shapes it creates and wonder.  Is staying home really for me, will I be bored, will I get dressed, will I sustain on chicken nuggets alone?

Today is one of those days.  It’s 2:20 and I’m in yoga pants, a t-shirt and a sweater sporting barbecue sauce from one failed attempt toward my nugget hole.   Nathan is not eating said nuggets, mind you.   They were from a kid’s frozen lunch that I bought for myself.  Yum- something about the middle of the month and nuggets.  And cookies, and yoga pants, and blah’s. 

There are not many of these.  But just now I was taking the dog out and he was headed toward the front yard when I realized the sauce and lack of bra and locked his leash.   Am not going in the front yard.  

On days like today I am torn.  Do I get into gear or go with the flow?  It can go either way really.  But, I’m getting it together today.  I cleaned the kitchen and folded a load of laundry, swept and dusted.   I’m going to workout, take a shower and when the kid is up from his nap we will go to the park. 

I know that staying home was the right choice.  But I do laugh at myself when I realize that some days, no matter the overall effort,  I look in the mirror and see my worst nightmare!

Shred Update

I am doing pretty well now.  I didn’t workout over the weekend but Saturday hauled Nate’s 21.5 lb self in the Bjorn for about 2 hours so that counts for something.  Anyway, today was great.  I can keep up with the advanced girl now with everything but the push ups, I am still doing the girl style.  After finishing I decided to watch Level 2 thinking that I will give one more day to Level 1 and move on.

I am terrified!  Level 2 is going to be so much harder.  It looks fun because it’s a lot of moves I haven’t done before but it also looks like it could kill me.  In fact,  at one point Jill looks into the camera and says “I want you to feel like you’re going to die.”    I’m thinking that’s a given. 

This is my second go round of week one but I am feeling much stronger already.  My endurance has improved and my movement is more controlled as apposed to sort of flailing about just trying to get all the way through the set.   Today I can say it is fun.  Wednesday when I move up?  We’ll see.

A fountain devoid of youth

Since having Nathan I think I have aged much more than just one year.  I look significantly older, my body and my face both marked.  Some things I accept that the hayday has passed but others should look better and it is going to take some work. 

I am working on my all-over-baby-sag, am getting closer to biting the bullet and going back to coloring my hair since this wash in color glaze isn’t kidding anyone in the grey department.  My skin routine needs some work.  I have normal skin, I tend to break out around ovulation and stay a mess throughthe end of my cycle. It is dull looking and flat and tends to hold on to blemish marks well after the outbreak has healed.   I use the Proactiv system.  The 3 daily steps, the oil free moisturizer for day and the refining mask about once per week.  At night I slap on some olay eye serum and a night cream and that’s it.  I need something better but not expensive. 

I have fine lines around my eyes,  pre-wrinkles (yes I made that up- am NOT wrinkled!) on my forehead and my laugh lines are also getting deeper.  I often forget my neck but after seeing 3 minutes of All My Children yesterday Susan Lucci reminded me to lather up.   I also have dark circles and bags.  

So, dear readers.  Do you have a product that you love, or a whole line that you can recommend?   I would love to hear about what you like or even what you have tried and absolutely hated.

caffeine and hormones

I’m sitting here doing nothing, pounding a coke zero in an attempt to not eat a cupcake.  Watching the clock, annoyed at what time it is.  What time do I want it to be?  What am I waiting for?  Nothing is happening no matter the time, yet I am annoyed with the clock.  Nathan is asleep, perfect child of mine.  Really, I don’t deserve the sweet boy.   I should be doing something, I should be on the treadmill, I should be unloading the dishwasher, moving loads of laundry,  or even just working on my TiVo that is 78% full.  I should be doing something.

But, I’m not.  I’m sitting at this desk in the dim light of the basement just feeling pissy.  Being pissy, I don’t know.  What’s the difference?  I don’t feel like myself, again.  I hate it but I recognize it.  I know why, I know it will pass.  Why is this so hard.. why is doing what is best for your child such a pain?

You expect that getting the hang of nursing will take some time.  It will hurt, it is a major commitment and will rule your life for the first few months.  You (sort of) know what to expect.  “They” tell you that you will get through it, it is worth it, you will be just fine.  You do get through it, it IS worth it but fine?  Not always.   “They” don’t tell you that it messes with your head, not just your body.  That when you decide stop no matter how slow you wean, it is hard.  It is painful, it turns you into someone you don’t want to be around.   You are told that you will be a little engorged.   A little engorged, and child birth is like popping.  Lies on both accounts!  A little engorged.  What do you do when you are only feeding one time in 24 hours and you have a clogged duct?   No amount of hand expressing will help, you can use hot compress’ and take Tylenol but you cant pump.   If I pump it destroys it, one extra letdown and it’s all out the window. 

It is so overwhelming, and also not.  I know that as I type this with anger in my fingers that I am fine.  Tomorrow will be better than today, and even right now as mad as I am its at nothing.  I know that I am sad and I don’t know why I am doing this at all.  I don’t know if I am really ready or if I am doing it because its “wired” to nurse a toddler?  I don’t know, but I do.  When I wasn’t stuck inside my own head this was the right thing to do, and on Tuesday morning I was ready.  I know it is time, that it is not healthy for me to hold on to this and that nursing will not keep the boy from growing up.  Today I don’t want him to grow another ounce, another inch.  I am desperate to freeze time and beg him to stay small.  I know it is time to move on and let go.  And what am I complaining about anyway?  My new finish line is around Christmas, I still have time, what is the big deal today?  I have more time, I know that behind all of this fog that I am ready and I am doing what is right for us.  I should feel proud of myself but I don’t.  I should shut up, I know that all of these emotions are normal and I am fine.  I know that tomorrow is another day.  I know that in 3.5 hours it will be Nate’s bedtime and then I will feel better for a few hours. I know that those few hours could lead to all better and being over it.  I know that what I am feeling now is just the caffeine and hormones.

Wait, what?

So, you know what sucks?  Going to the dentist for a tooth ache and learning that tooth is healthy and it is your gum that is hurting.  The cause?   Wait for it…….a popcorn hull.  Awesome.  Know what else sucks?  Finding that you need 4 fillings in other non-hurty teeth, three of which are old ones that need replaced.  Dude, that’s a crappy day.  Why is it that a cavity can make one feel so dirty.  You know what I mean, right?  I am so ashamed and embarrassed.  You know what else?  I paid a lot extra a few years ago to have those three that need replaced done in the toof color so my Mom wouldn’t see them.   Yet another disadvantage to my flip top head. 

Today was day 2 of operation drop am feeding.  It has been hard and painful.   I have a clog in one duct that is killing me and with 24 hours between feedings it’s not getting better.   Nathan is reacting a little too.  He is really affectionate.  I’m not sure he really gets that we are getting up and having real breakfast but he seems to miss that time we spend rocking.  He is really snugly, great and sweet but he wants to constantly rest his 97% head on my heaving bosom.  Ouch.   Oh, and something that may be surprising to only me.  As of today he is actually drinking milk from his cup.   What one boob take-ith the sippy give-ith. Or something.