If you read many blogs you have probably noticed that there is something going around. A promise of improvement coming recommend from people all over, they are telling everyone that the proof is indeed in the pudding. Pudding that will kick your butt and make you want your Mommy. What the heck am I talking about? The pudding is 30 day shred. The promise that in 20 minutes a day for 30 days we can all look like Jillian Michaels- who when my husband sees on tv yells in his best Austin Powers “She’s a MAN baby!”
I used to be fit. I used to make going to the gym and eating well a priority. This wasn’t just a lifestyle it was my OCD fix. Counting calories in and calories out. I never had Chai on the weekends, I saved the calories for a Mikes Hard Lemonade or a glass of wine. It was always on my mind, it was it’s own list, Vitamins? Check. 8 Glasses of water? Check + 2. 3 miles on Treadmill? Check.
I am now a squishy pile of excuses. One thousand reasons for why I don’t go to the gym anymore, why I didn’t do more than go for a walk when I told myself the entire hour to RUN damnit, just start running. Sometimes I do but other times I just don’t. Nathan will be one in 10 days. A good week while pregnant was 2-3 workouts, remove weeks 6-12 completely. How many times have I been since I had him, one year ago? I think it would average to less than one time per month. I do dvd’s, Inhale (yoga) walk a few times per week, do sit ups push-ups and use my hand weights but very seldom do I push myself anymore. I miss it, I miss adding distance to my run, knocking time of my mile, the way it feels to stretch sore muscles, the amazing sleep that comes after one of these workouts.
I also miss how it feels to be fueled off apples and granola and baby carrots dipped in hummus, not cookies and popcorn. I didn’t use to snack on junk. I don’t know where I made this turn in lifestyle. The lack of gym going is easy but I don’t know when I dropped the ball on my diet. Why I don’t eat as many vegetables and why I buy cookies when the old me, the healthy me, never even went down the cookie aisle.
So, this weekend we are buying a treadmill. I can run at home without trying to fit it into the child care hours (one of my excuses that is the most valid) this will also be fantastic when we have the never ending line of snow days. I ordered 30 day shred. I broke up with cookies this morning. I’m going to go back to what I know is good for me, what will make me feel like my best self.
I will miss the cookies, of course I will. It is a miracle of miracles that I am under my pre-pregnancy weight the way I have been going. Virtually 2 years without pushing myself. I don’t think it will be that hard though. I expect to feel better right away. I know that for me that after workout high is addicting. When I feel proud of myself for really pushing or for just getting through on a day where I didn’t think had it in me, that keeps me going. I hope that taking care of myself will be old hat, like riding a bike. I may be wobbly at first but I know its all still in there.
I’m not sure why I am inspired now, I’m just glad that I am. Part of it could be that I’m looking down the barrel of another Ohio winter and know this will help me get through it.
Anyone else had a period like this? What got you going again?