I appreciate your understanding, so very much. You see, the thing with this blogging is so multifaceted. I keep finding new issues with it. Obviously now I have realized that I have been sounding overly negative and spoiled. Neither of which are attractive to me so how can it be to anyone else. I try to keep my topic’s in check, try not to step outside of my own boundaries, try to be “the good kid” since a lot of my relatives are frequent lurkers, and more often then not I find I have something I really want to write about or need to get of my chest but I cant. There are so many things I have to sound off with in person, to Mike or Heidi. I can’t do it here, or shouldn’t, rather. I appreciate my readers, friends IRL and those of you who are my “peeps in the box.”
I know that you realize that I do live a life I am thrilled with, I acknowledge staying home is a opportunity not realized for so many mothers. I feel like I take that for granted on occasion, I have to remember not only to thank “the money maker” but to be genuinely thankful. Something you aren’t thinking about when, OH-Dear-God-Child-insertmassivereaccuringannoyance-here. I also know that you have most likely been reading long enough to know that I live for Mike, and for Nathan and would throw myself under a bus for either of them. But I have to believe that you don’t come here for that, not everyday anyway. If I was proclaiming my undying love day in and day out you’d get bored and most likely delete me from your reader and move on with your life. I know that I read blogs for many reasons, one of which is to feel less alone and more normal in this Mom Gig. I look for commiseraters, someone to say YES- I know and hoo boy it does suck! You feel better when you are not the only one, and it’s more entertaining to read that we too, are human.
I am human, I am a mother, life is not perfect, I am not perfect. I try too hard, I know this. You know it too. I don’t want to know how many results would pop up if you went half way down this page and searched “mop floors.” This perfect issue I have is real, I know where it stems from and why (Dear god that is a whole other URL right there!) but it is my issue and I have to deal with it and this kid of mine is testing it’s limits everyday. So, I write about it. I struggle with not having the time to deep clean every day (yes- everyday!) I want to vacuum, everyday and can’t anymore, I need to do some work in the yard and haven’t had a chance recently, I need to clean up from the massive storm we had on Sunday and haven’t.
I write about this stuff because it is my life, I feel better when I put it out there, whether anyone reads or not. Allowing the words to flow through my arms into my fingers is a release. Whether you comment or not, getting it out is sometimes all I need to gain perspective. At the end of the day, this is for me. I write for me, to log my life to go back and see how far I have come, or not. To capture memories and feelings. It is for me. It is a bonus that you are here watching while I document it and your taking interest in what I am going through, taking the time out of your day to tell me it will all be okay. Not doing this alone is a bonus.
This Mom business is no joke, it is very hard to be one without your Village. You readers, are in so many ways that Village. I don’t know how I could do this without you. Thank you.