Better’ish

Thanks for all of the hang in there’s!  I am doing okay,  my mood has leveled out and the discomfort has subsided.  I get a little ahem, leaky about 30 minutes before Nate’s bedtime but aside from that all is well. 

I am back in that annoying place where things are sort of out of my control.  Where I love the milestones and playing with Nathan but am not into sitting on the floor for hours on end playing with him.  I have put up a few gates in the basement along with some other detours and that is helping a lot.  He has learned to climb the stairs, baby gate, he goes right for the power strip under the desk with it’s blinking red light, baby gate.  He kept getting stuck under one of the tables that have X style legs, I put a milk crate with about 15 lbs of hand weights inside it to keep him from getting under the table.   These few little things allow me to leave the room for a few minutes or to just sit on the couch and watch him, not go after him and re direct.  

I keep buying him new toys, thinking that if he had something “better” he would stay put.  I am realizing that isn’t going to happen.  His favorite toy right now is his body, and I have to allow him to play.   That being said he likes to use his toy to play in the dogs water dish.  Therein lies a lot of my problem.  To keep him away from the dish I have to gate him out, but, the dog needs his water all day and I’m not going to lock the dog away with his water bowl.  Some battles I cannot win, I have to allow him to crawl to the bowl, tell him no, and park him across the room.  Rinse, repeat.  I fell like some of this madness is necessary.  If I never tell him no, he will be a brat.  I can’t keep him in a room that is 100% baby friendly or later when he is told no and something is taken from him meltdown will ensue.  I could be totally off base but I am hoping that going through all of this now will pay off later.   I like to think that this is easier than a tantrum? 

Because of all of this I am feeling down.  Your days are so monotonous, I feel like a hamster on a wheel. There are no surprises, and if there is it is a bad one like no napping, or dog puke!  I miss the days of surprise doughnuts at the office- hah!  Our days are scheduled, which is nice but also boring.  A normal day around here is up at 7:30- Nurse- Diaper change- Cheerios while I eat breakfast- run errands or basement to play until nap at 10- up at 11:30- diaper, dress- 12 lunch for both of us- errands/park/ play -whatever-  2:15 snack ,2:30 diaper, nap till-4:30 – dinner at 5- bath at 7:15- nurse at 7:30.  Every single day!   I like to get out of the house everyday, that makes a huge difference in my mood and Nathan loves it, too.  If I stay home for more than one day it is not pretty.  I sort of throw in the towel and don’t get dressed and just mope around feeling sorry for myself and eating cookies.  I’m not doing that anymore! I’m getting dressed, leaving the house and man, I have got to stop buying and baking cookies!  

Learning how to do this job isn’t always easy or fun.  But, it is a gift and I need to remember to treat it as just that.

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9 thoughts on “Better’ish

  1. I kind of responded to this after your last post, don’t know if you have seen it or not. On one hand, yes you need to teach boundaries, life is not a free-for-all. But at this age, I think you are just going to drive yourself crazy. Even if you successfully teach him to stay out of the dog bowl, for example, there is going to come a time (Terrible Two’s..18 months?) where he tests all the boundaries anyway. He will scream when you take away what he wants. He will have tantrums. He will eventually learn to take turns and share and not to touch the breakables. But right now that is all beyond him. He is completely driven by his impulses. The only thing you can really do is redirect his attention and remove the dangerous stuff which you are doing. Yes, it is a full time job. Yes, it will get better!

  2. Oh! Thought of one more thing while I was in the shower regarding the monotoy. I have a cute little book called The Toddler’s Busy Book by Trish Kupfner (sp?) It has lots of good ideas for simple fun activities. You should check it out!

  3. I agree with Laura on he’s simply acting on impulse now. Right now it’s just keeping him safe, not necessarily teaching him life lessons because he’s not capable of that yet.

    As for the monotony… do you get out with him for any playgroups or activities at all? With DS we couldn’t afford Gymboree so I took him to toddler storytime at the library. It was great to see other moms, have him intearct with other toddlers. With DD, I was able to do the storytime and gymboree and it was awesome. I also did MOPS. It got a bit too religious for me but it was worth sitting through the preaching to be with other mothers for a couple of hours and have my child be in the daycare room! I really think you need to look into something for you guys to do together and for you to do on your own – a once a month book club, mom’s night out with some girlfriends etc. It helps break up the monotony, gives you something to look forward to and something to refresh you. ((((HUGS))))!!!!!

  4. I agree with A Mom Anonymous too about finding a Mommy & Me class, Mom’s club, or something! It really helps to break up the monotony and also to feel like you are exposing Nathan to more experiences. Library and local rec departments are good cheap options, we do both. I found my mom’s group I was in thru YAhoo Groups. I think Alice was about 13 months when I joined and it helped a lot to make myself get out and do things with her. You know, besides the grocery store! 😉

  5. Unfortunately at the age they are now all you can do is try to keep them safe. Clean, dry, and out of trouble aren’t always options. So, like you, I’m trying to learn to cope too. The days all seem the same, except for when she’s blowing my mind with some new milestone.
    Have you made a trip to the park yet? It’s a lot of fun and it’s a great way to burn off some of their energy.

  6. We go to the park at least 4 times per week- I walk/jog for an hour and then we go swing. A lot of days that is our activity for the day. We both love it. Once the weather changes I will be going to the gym again and he can play in the daycare with a load of other kids a few times per week.
    I actually just went to the library last week to get the story time schedule. Its timing isnt perfect, its at 9:30 am so we will go when it wont interfear with naping which has to come first. (trust me!!)
    Im still not digging joining a Mom’s group. I have a few friends here and that feels like enough, and Nate and Liem see eachother at least every other week if not every week so he does have a little buddy.
    I dont really feel like anything is “missing” or that there is really anything I can do at this stage, outside of all of this. I just have to learn to work with it and make the most of it for both of us. That is what I am trying to do, at least!
    Thanks so much for all your feedback!! Sometimes knowing that your not alone is exactly what you need to hear.

  7. Michael ate the cat food; stuck a peanut up his nose; took a bite out of my wax candle that looked like a cup cake; ate the bonney bell lipsmaker that tasted like root beer; chewed on the heads of his starwars figures until they came off (hello choking hazard); ate a whole bottle of “yummy” chewable vitamins; and had a habit of banging his head on his crib until he fell asleep.

  8. Re: Becky’s response – um, are our kids related? My boys played off of each other – they are really close in age. Brody would push Evan off the couch, he stuffed a rubber thing up his nose, opened a 5 gallon can of paint and painted our new Ipe deck, the house, his toy cars, himself, his brother. You just deal. I was never a candidate for a mom’s club. I wanted to be with people I shared interests with – not just cause we were mom’s. I had a gf who went the mom’s club route, it was all fine – then all of a sudden she was president of the club, arranging rides, playdates, cookie sales. OY.

    I took the other route. I went to Yoga, I took knitting classes, I went rollerblading. AND I left the boys with their daddy. dun dun dunnnnnnn I’m not super mom, nor do I pretend to be. You will find that as he transitions out of his morning naps, you’ll have a little more freedom to do other stuff. Good luck!

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