I don’t know whats up with me lately. I have been in this slump that I cannot shake for about two or three weeks now. I have been trying to keep busy and done a fairly good job with that but once I make plans I wonder if I should have even when it is always the right thing to do. Get out and be with friends, this is what I have longed for the two years we have lived here and suddenly I have what I wanted. Two great friends, one old -one new, women with whom I share interests. Today I had no plans, I cleaned a bunch while Nathan took his first nap and then I pretty much decomposed. I was in a crap mood and bored, unable to shake it and basically ate my way through the day.
I don’t want plans, I have to have plans, if I dont I’m all sorry for myself. Why? The thing is I want both, I love my alone time (with and w/o Nate) I NEED my girlfriend time, but right now no matter what I do as soon as that time is up, I’m a bitchy mess. Now what? The other thing is, I have both, yet Im still unhappy. I get anxious about whatever is coming up, have a great time and then when its over I am lost. I have my list of to-do’s and plenty of things around the house that I want to do but still, no matter what, I am not happy. I feel like a spoiled brat, but I don’t know why. Nothing is actually wrong, Im not secretly festering about anything that needs confronting… I’m just in a huge funk.
This is normal right? Mike of course asks first thing, ” so, do you want to go back to work.” That’s not it at all, I had this same issue every once in awhile when I worked, too. I am quick to say it’s because we are at the tail end of Mikes insane work season (2 weeks to go!) and that I miss him and our time together, and I do but I don’t know if it really has anything to do with that at all.
We have a ton to look forward to as well. Normally I would be in a great mood and anxious for everything but I am not. I just want to eat chocolate and lay under a blanket, and then bitch about how boring it is to lay under the blanket and OMG someone stop me, am eating MORE chocolate.
GAHHH! What gives?