from inside the funk

I don’t know whats up with me lately.  I have been in this slump that I cannot shake for about two or three weeks now.  I have been trying to keep busy and done a fairly good job with that but once I make plans I wonder if I should have even when it is always the right thing to do.  Get out and be with friends, this is what I have longed for the two years we have lived here and suddenly I have what I wanted.  Two great friends, one old -one new, women with whom I share interests.   Today I had no plans, I cleaned a bunch while Nathan took his first nap and then I pretty much decomposed.  I was in a crap mood and bored, unable to shake it and basically ate my way through the day.  

I don’t want plans, I have to have plans, if I dont I’m all sorry for myself.  Why?   The thing is I want both, I love my alone time (with and w/o Nate)  I NEED my girlfriend time, but right now no matter what I do as soon as that time is up, I’m a bitchy mess.   Now  what?   The other thing is, I have both, yet Im still unhappy.  I get anxious about whatever is coming up, have a great time and then when its over I am lost.  I have my list of to-do’s and plenty of things around the house that I want to do but still, no matter what, I am not happy.  I feel like a spoiled brat, but I don’t know why.   Nothing is actually wrong,  Im not secretly festering about anything that needs confronting… I’m just in a huge funk.  

This is normal right?   Mike of course asks first thing, ” so, do you want to go back to work.”  That’s not it at all, I had this same issue every once in awhile when I worked, too.   I am quick to say it’s because we are at the tail end of Mikes insane work season (2 weeks to go!) and that I miss him and our time together, and I do but I don’t know if it really has anything to do with that at all. 

We have a ton to look forward to as well.  Normally I would be in a great mood and anxious for everything but I am not.  I just want to eat chocolate and lay under a blanket, and then bitch about how boring it is to lay under the blanket and OMG someone stop me, am eating MORE chocolate.

GAHHH!  What gives?

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10 thoughts on “from inside the funk

  1. I HAD THIS SAME CONVERSATION LAST NIGHT.

    I told Bryan I was bored with our life. It’s too routine, I said. Why do we have to do the same crap all the time?

    Last week, he reminded me, I was complaining that we never get to settle down and relax, because our schedules are so hectic and — get ready for it — not routine enough.

  2. I completely feel this way at times. I am always keeping the kids busy by going here and there and then I’m crazy that the house is a mess because we’re never home to clean up our messes. Sometimes I am convinced that we are too busy, but then I get really depressed when we are at home doing nothing. I’m still trying to figure it out. Going back to work would make it worse. I would be more frazzled, the house would never be cleaned and I would have the guilt of not spending enough time with the kids and not doing enough at work. You are not alone.

  3. Hopefully it’s just a short lived funk and it’ll clear up soon. Your posts generally come across as so upbeat and your life looks so full. Maybe you are still adjusting to having the full family life and girlfriend time too.

  4. Hi, I have been reading your blog for a while- I love it! I just wanted to say hang in there. I am a teacher so I understand- I am so board right now but in another month I will be ready to have a break again! I was soooo board yesterday I started riping the wallpaper off my bathroom walls last night about 9:30- it so needed to go! I just wanted to say hi and have a good day!

  5. Oh the funk, what a drag. I get the funk occasionally, I had it quite a bit when Nate was around 6 months or so. For me it was having kind of a routine but not really a routine and not sure what to do with the days. Do I do something productive or do I do something fun for Nate or something fun for me and if I couldn’t think of something it would drive me nuts. Things are better now, I’m ok if we don’t have something to do and I’m ok with doing something fun for me or him. I think mostly it was getting a handle on the way too much anxiety I had during that time.

    Hopefully it’ll pass soon for you, it did for me.

  6. I hear ya. Seems like the grass is always greener. Some days I really take care of myself, exercise, get dolled up, clean the house, cook good meals…and then the girls are whiny and miserable cause I’ve ignored them all day and I feel horrible. Then other days I will do everything fun playing with the girls, then at the end of the day the house is a mess and I’m still in my PJs and I feel bad about that too! Its so hard to strike a good balance but I find getting out and about helps. Its just so hard to actually GET OUT. HA!

  7. I felt the same way while I was on maternity leave. Now I’m just too busy to reflect, which is a good thing. That said, I don’t think anyone feels perfectly fulfilled at all times. Funks happen to everyone and they suck. I doubt work is the answer — I don’t sense that you were passionate about your work. My advice is that if you are looking for something to add to your life, find your passion. Is it design school? Is it writing? You are a beautiful, caring, and talented lady — if you want something, I’m sure you can achieve it.

  8. I went through this a lot when I stayed home with the boys. Then I got a job and got out of the house and go through these phases on a regular basis. I can’t explain why they happen, I just know that they do. They totally suck – but I just try to keep my head out of the sand and wait for them to pass. The thing is, as long as I loved my kids and fed them – they didn’t know I was in a funk… basically, what I am saying is Nate doesn’t know the difference in mommy… so if you need to chill out and eat chocolate – then do it. He won’t remember these “moods” and knowing that may help you figure out how to get yourself out of the funk.

  9. What is the one thing that you told me a couple months ago when I was going thru this same thing. As much as we hate this, time to get back to the gym regularly. It will take you out of the funk for sure. It is just not easy to motivate. It will help you eat better, give you your vest back and take away from the feeling of “what now”. Over the last 3.5 years, this has been my sure fire solution every time I get into this rut. Love you!!! See you in a few weeks.

  10. want to get out of your funk? Go spend 20 minutes at goodwill or drive by the unemployment office and imagine how ALL of the people you encounter wish they could change places with you. Then go out of your way to brighten one of those stranger’s day. It will make you feel better about yourself and understand the blessing that having the opportunity to be in a funk really represents. I would take a funk over a unmanagable stress or depression any day of the week. Love ya and happy birthday in 2 days!!!
    dad.

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