A few days ago while Nate was napping I decided to get out my bins of summer clothes.  While sifting through everything and saying hello to some of my favorite pieces I decided it was time. 

I dug to the bottom of the one with the swimsuits, dug some more,  3 bikinis, sarong from Jamaica (forgot how cute it is!), wait… dig, dig, dig,, where are my……..  Oh my holy hell.   It hit me like a ton of bricks.  When Mike and I moved from NC to OH I was in really good shape, running and lifting weights several times a week, every week (ohh the time you have before you birth a kid!)  I threw away every single one piece I had, 3 of them, good ones, J Crew* and cute.  I THREW THEM AWAY?   Why?  We were on the verge of becoming pregnant, I knew this day would come.  Evidently I was suffering from optimistic body image and thought that my midsection would always look so good. It was by the way, the only part of my figure I ever really accepted.  The one spot that never got fat or rolly, all of that mess was saved for the pear region and the wing span. Now, of course now I have this flesh that refuses to snap back- well if we are being honest its not like I have forced my hand on the issue, as I wipe cookie crumbs from my lap… however, I am without a suit.

You know what is worse that putting on a bathing suit for the first time postpartum?  Trying them on in FLORESCENT LIGHTING.  I am bound to faint. 


* j crew suits are worth it!  They last and last and fit wonderfully.  No pilling on the butt from sitting on the edge of the pool, no chlorine fade.  They rock! 

5 thoughts on “Delusional

  1. Yes, you looked AMAZING when you moved. The bright side, they make some really fun tankkinies (sp*) now- they will cover in the right places 🙂 Maybe this is the start of a fun adventure vs. a scary one. Ohh and please, no fainting.. I think that you have had enough falling for one month.

  2. I hope you find a good suit! You are a far braver soul than I.
    Where I live it’s never-ending swimsuit season (you can usually find them for sale year-round) and I don’t even have the guts to go shopping.

  3. Well. . . I was going to say maybe swimsuit shopping will turn out to be fun, but then I thought it through, lol. Good luck! I ordered my maternity swimsuit online and it has been sitting in the dining room for a month. I guess I’m afraid to try it out!! We are going to the lake tomorrow though, so it’s now or never.

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