Going it alone

We are at the halfway mark in Mikes trip, he comes home Wednesday night.  So far so good.  This weekend was easy since H&E were here to keep us company, yesterday was pretty lonely.  After dropping them off at the airport we went grocery shopping and I really took my time, I got myself a plant and a new notebook (for the food journal which has been more of a pile of wrappers on the counter than a list) after browsing the entire store we were home before 11, so it was a long day.  Im sure that they will all feel this way until he gets back.  If I’m being totally honest, it takes all I have not to let Nathan sleep with me.  I haven’t, but I do hold him long after he is asleep before putting him to bed.  Mike has always gone to conferences, even as a graduate student.   It’s not that I haven’t been at home alone during these times, he goes to at least two a year.  This time is just different, I’m sure my not working makes a big difference but having Nathan does too.  I feel sad, especially when he is down for a nap or after he goes to bed at night.  When he is up I’m suffocating him with snuggles.   He doesn’t really know that Dad’s not home but when he calls and talks to him he freaks out, smiling and flailing all over.   He listens so intently.  Its adorable.

The daycare at the gym closes at noon, I haven’t been again because he has been sleeping until 10 or 10:30 (dont hate me, he gets up at 1 and 5, its not as if he is sleeping thru).  By the time he’s fed and dressed the soonest I can get us out of the house is 11:30, so I have no time!   So, it’s TiVo’d yoga and tapes in the basement.  The weather isn’t supposed to be too bad this week, I may start  digging up my flower beds, that will be some good exercise.  If the winds and rain stay away we will go for walks.   I know that I need the fresh air and to move or I will just be flat out depressed until Mike gets back.  I will be sure to be mindful of what I am needing this week, even more-so than normal.  I can’t get into a funk and be sure that Nathans days are fun and productive.  I can’t become a lump on the couch.  I know this makes me sound pretty co-dependant but its not that at all.  I enjoy time to myself quite a bit.  I am just realizing how much I love the time we all spend together at night.  Those few hours before he goes to bed playing and bathing him together are such an important part of my day. 

Here are some pic’s from the weekend.   He is so chunky!

His head may be bigger than hers.  they are 15 months apart.
If I put my hand on my hip it’s slimming, no?
Food Coma

4 thoughts on “Going it alone

  1. Nathan is so adorable. And look at how well he’s sitting!

    Did you ever have any “single behavior” that you would do (pre-Nathan, obviously) when Mike was gone? Now’s the ideal time to indulge in it! Mine usually involved marathons of MTV’s The Hills (Bryan abhors it.. I’m addicted) and ice cream. Dig in!

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