Oh universe, why must you laugh at me?

We wake up this morning after a crappy night, feed and dress the baby.  I throw on some workout clothes and grab a granola bar and a bottle of water on my way out the door.  I feel good, I’m doing this!  Yay me, let’s get our workout ON!

I drop Nate off in the daycare center which is hopping, sign him in and hit the cardio room.   Awesome, its nearly empty.  No one wants to watch this, I’m sure.  I’m on the elliptical doing well, feeling good and…. What was that?  One of my boobs feels, umm, lower?   Hm, 40 minutes till I’m finished,  I scan the room and then do a quick retuck.   I’m enjoying a little “Mamma said knock you out”  and its readjusting itself again, tuck it back in,   ” DAMAGE UH-DAMAGE-UH”  okay,  just get back into the grove.

 I finish up my hour of cardio and go to the locker room to stretch and investigate this low rider.  NICE,  my bra broke!  My only real nursing bra, the $80 special made gigantor, busted.  Good thing it was one of the three I was wearing, a sleep one over the the real one topped off with a nursing tank.   What?  They are heavy,  just ask my bra!

 I go in to the nursery to pick up the boy.  As I approach I see he is still strapped into his car seat on the floor and there is a little girl sitting with him, holding his hands and KISSING him.  Try and calm myself.  It’s good for his immunity, its good for his immunity.   Pay, and we are off.  Slightly annoyed that he sat in his carseat the whole time.

We hit the grocery store for tonight’s dinner.  Come up with awesome recipe in my head, feel like champion SAHM.   All ingredients in cart, grab two chocolate covered marshmallows. You know, champion SAHM’s deserve a reward, and come on I just did 60 minutes of cardio with ONE boob secure!  I need chocolate.

I get home and let Bruno out, through the garage unleashed.  We do this everyday, he just goes and does his business in the front and comes back in.  I’m gathering the groceries and I realize he is still out there.  Grab plastic bag, his in the neighbors yard.   The baby is still in the car, his door is open as is the house.  Bruno looks over his shoulder and his eyes say, “bet’cha can’t catch me” and he is off.  I run past the pile and down the sidewalk, holding my right boob in one hand, a bag of chicken in the other.   I finally catch him by the scruff of the neck and give him a little boot in the rear end and tell him to go home.  He hangs his head and I walk behind him.   He refuses to go through the garage, he goes to the front door.  I call and call and drop a treat in the driveway he doesn’t even look.  I get Nathan out of the car, drop the groceries on the counter, baby seat on the floor and go unlock the front door for annoying ass dog.  Give another boot in the rear as he comes in.  “Pain in the butt” I tell him.   I’m unloading the groceries and shoot, there is still a mess at the neighbors.  I put my self back into my bra, go pick it up. Back inside  Nathan is getting sleepy so I take him up to bed, after he’s down I turn around and see that I have stepped in dog crap and tracked it all the way upstairs.   

Should have bought three chocolate covered marshmallows.

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5 thoughts on “Oh universe, why must you laugh at me?

  1. Oh hun, what a day! I’m so sorry! But be consoled–I don’t know one handsome baby boy who died from an early-age first kiss. Actually, as many people as touch Baby on a daily basis (and people just can’t keep their hands off of her) and she’s only been sick once, that time right after she had her shots. Just take a hot, relaxing bath, and tomorrow buy yourself a big box of brownies or something.

  2. I think just the fact that you ran with a boob in one hand and a chicken in the other deserves a medal, or least a very strong drink. Love the blog! Just found it today!

  3. I stepped in dog poo this morning too — Oliver left it for me right by the side of my bed so with BARE FEET I stepped in it and it squished between my toes…. I nearly died of disgust!

    Sorry about the nursing bra disaster — those puppies aren’t cheap! Do you think they would refund it? N isn’t that old yet!

    xoxo

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