Found!  The last couple of weekends I have left Nate at home with Mike on Saturday morning and gone out on my own.  It is so nice to be able to make several stops, quickly and with out 45 lbs of stuff.   Taking the baby with me is usually fun, he’s perfectly behaved and we always make a few friends when we are out.  He loves it and I do too.  But, I’m finding that I feel like myself when I’m alone.  When he was younger I would rush back home, missing him and worrying about him a little.  Now I think about him but I don’t worry one bit, Mike knows where to find the frozen milk so really there is nothing he cant do for him.  I’m enjoying being back in my body, too.  I’m not getting attention because I’m pregnant and I’m not trying to hide my post pardum belly, its me, in my own skin and my clothes that I like not ones that I have to wear.   I’m grocery shopping and it’s just Christina, not Mommy.   Run to Starbucks, just me… you get the idea.  I guess what I’m saying is this Saturday for the first time in 15 months, I felt like myself again.  It felt good.  So, in my never ending quest to perfect this new life I’m living I’ve found another piece to my puzzle.  I know that its equally important for me to get out alone as it is for Nate and I to stay busy during the week.   The stupid part is all of this seems like no-shitters once I’m on the other side.  At least I find the other side, right?


 Last week or maybe even the week before Moxie started a 60 day challenge.  For the 60 days you choose 3 things that will help improve you in some way,  spiritually, emotionally or physically.   I have put some thought into this and these are my 3.

1.  Food journal.  I used to do this all the time when I needed to get myself in check and back on track.  Writing down what I have eaten often keeps me from having yet another snack.  If the list is looking long it’s easier for me to chew a piece of gum instead.

2. Move 4 days a week.   Either house work, walks outside, Yoga or going to the gym.  I will get my heart working 4 times per week.  Period!  This is a big deal at this point.  I am feeling better and want to keep it up.  I would also like to be ready for that swim class when it starts. (April 14th if we get in)

3. No computer after dinner!  This sounds simple but as soon as we have eaten and Mike takes the baby I hightail it over and start emailing or playing with pictures or whatever.  I have time for this during the day and need to stop it.  Mike gets up at 5 am to go to the gym so he has more time at night to spend as a family.  The least I can do is turn off the computer and enjoy our time together.

It’s funny that trying to find ways to keep myself happy takes such thought.   The work I am putting in is helping a lot.  I really want to be the best me and Mom that I can, turns out it doesn’t just happen.  This is all pretty necessary, for me anyway.  I really am feeling good and because of that I am always thinking about what next for both me and for baby.


5 thoughts on “Identity

  1. I’m glad you’re starting to find time for yourself! Keep it up! And How is Little Handsome doing?

  2. Not only is it important for you to have time away from being a mommy – it is equally as important for Nate. Or “Little Handsome” as Victoria lovingly calls him. 🙂 He is quite handsome. Ok, back to the pep talk! Getting out helps both of you gain a little independence. I used to joke that I could leave my kids with the homeless guy on the street and they wouldn’t cry. Of course I would NEVER do something like that… unless … no no I would NEVER. But you get the picture. My good friend, on the other hand, never left the baby. Ever. Then one day she decided to take a class for 2 hours during the day and left her child with me. Who proceeded to cry for the next 3 hours and wouldn’t leave the porch area.

    You get the picture. Plus, these moments are awesome bonding time for daddy and Nate – we women think they have a natural bond – but it’s not as natural as one would think. 🙂

  3. glad you found yourself, didn’t know you were lost. Question for you from a man’s perspective – now that you have found yourself the next step is to find your husband. Is he lost too?

    Probably coming thru Columbus on saturday. Will call.

    Love you


  4. That is awesome that you are feeling good and like yourself again. I always felt like it was sweet forbidden fruit to go solo–so good! I also love that you said you will step away from the ‘puter and chill with your hubby at night. That is so good. I need to do that and hang with my kids at night. Good reminder!

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