This morning started with a shock. As Mike was telling me goodbye he said he saw one of my work buddies at the gym this morning. He then went on to tell me that a co-worker had died. I was stunned, though I knew that he was in trouble. A few months before I left he was let go very quietly. No one really talked about it other than to say that “we hope he gets it together”. This lead me to believe that he was having drug issues but the little naive girl in me always wants to think its not that bad. His first child was born last Friday the 8th, he died of an overdose on the 10th. I can’t get him out of my head today. He was such a good man, before. His downward spiral was pretty obvious, months in advance of his firing but before that, he was such a good person. I know that this was a big part of his relationship, I hope to god that little baby was born healthy. Such a tragedy.
This week was all planned out, I knew what I was going to do to stay busy and fight the boredom. Monday morning I woke up with another blocked milk duct. That day went as planned, I met a friend and her boys at the mall and had lunch, then Dad came that afternoon for a visit. Monday night was spent in the tub and up nearly all night in pain, trying to get the milk to release. All of Tuesday was spent in bed with the baby, reading and playing but me resting as much as possible since the block comes along with flu like symptoms. It finally broke though late that afternoon. Wednesday I was going to go buy paint, nope, didn’t happen. Too much snow and ice, Mike took my car. Yesterday, hell, I don’t know what happened to yesterday outside of laundry and finally watching the last two episodes of Lost. Fridays are always the same which I like, on Friday we go grocery shopping. So now next week will be good and busy. Just goes to show that you have to be flexible. It seems like I have nothing but time, but damn, sometimes that’s not enough.
Did you all see that picture down there of my KID? Good god when did that happen? I am having so much fun with him these days. He has gone from little blob in my lap napping all day to a energetic and attentive baby. We play all day, from tummy time reaching for his toys and doing the cutest little push-ups, looking up with his scrunched forehead and smiling when he meets my eyes. He loves his excersaucer which we call the vomitorium, he pulls at the little bug levers to make the music play and rolls the barrel filled with beads. He loves Curious George stories, he will sit in my lap for a good 30 minutes facing out looking at the pictures and listening to the stories. We have instituted “family dance party” which makes me laugh till I cry. We always have either npr or one of our IPods playing, Mike was dancing around like a fool the other night and Nate stated cracking up, so of course I joined in and we all danced around having a blast. Dorks, yes, happier than ever, also yes. We are just enjoying nearly every moment with this boy, he is so darn happy and social I truly don’t know why we are so blessed. He kicks and smiles when Daddy comes home, his whole face lighting up as if to say he’s been waiting for him all day long. He watches my every move, and smiles every time I look at him. He stops eating just long enough to look up at me, grin and go back to business. He can pick up his squeaky blocks and chews on them, he has a favorite blanket, its part teddy bear part blanket. He snuggles with it on the side of his face. He is snuggling with us now, resting his head on our chests or nuzzling in our neck. He smiles and coo’s when I sing to him. He is pure joy. Because of him, it seeps from my pores. This is a love I have never known.