I’m having a hard time lately. It’s more of a surprise to me than anyone else in my life, as they all seemed to see it coming.
I don’t know what to do with myself. After the house is clean, the laundry is done, I’ve read 19 board books, had tummy time, swung, bounced, saucer’d, patty-cake’d and peak-a-boo’d, I’m lost. I LOVE being home with Nate and wouldn’t trade it, honest. But, something is missing. I need something else and I don’t really know what it is. In April’ish we will start swim lessons and I’m really
freaking terrified to put this lard into a swimsuit excited to get the baby into the pool. I’m looking forward to spring so we can get outside and walk and lay a blanket on the deck to play and bid farewell to the basement for a bit. So, I have some plans for later but right now, I’m lost. I don’t know what to do! Last week we got out 3 days of 5, I did some yoga, got dressed everyday, basically did the things that I thought would help and they did a little bit, but not totally. I guess I could join a mom’s group but I’m totally not feeling that, for lots of reasons. I’m not a joiner, at all. I hate being the new girl, mostly.
This weekend we took Nate to a movie and he was great! So, now I know we can do that together during the week. I’m excited about that actually, Mike wont see 27 Dresses but the baby can’t protest. This week my Dad is visiting and I’m going to paint the living room, so that will help. I’m going to make plans with my friend for next week, and get my scrapbook stuff back out and do a few pages while Nathan naps. I can’t really put my finger on what else I am needing but its something. I’m going to put some energy in to working on it, so this next step is going to be planning out our week rather than deciding if I should get dressed or not before Mike comes home. Honestly, if our mail box weren’t across the street I’d look like a fright on most days!
Help me, what can we do? Tell me to get over myself and join a mom’s group. Tell me I’m really okay and it’s winter that’s getting to me… I don’t know, tell me something!