I’m having a hard time lately.  It’s more of a surprise to me than anyone else in my life, as they all seemed to see it coming.

I don’t know what to do with myself.  After the house is clean, the laundry is done, I’ve read 19 board books, had tummy time, swung, bounced, saucer’d, patty-cake’d and peak-a-boo’d, I’m lost.  I LOVE being home with Nate and wouldn’t trade it, honest.  But, something is missing.  I need something else and I don’t really know what it is.  In April’ish we will start swim lessons and I’m really freaking terrified to put this lard into a swimsuit excited to get the baby into the pool.  I’m looking forward to spring so we can get outside and walk and lay a blanket on the deck to play and bid farewell to the basement for a bit.   So, I have some plans for later but right now, I’m lost.  I don’t know what to do!  Last week we got out 3 days of 5, I did some yoga, got dressed everyday, basically did the things that I thought would help and they did a little bit, but not totally.  I guess I could join a mom’s group but I’m totally not feeling that, for lots of reasons.  I’m not a joiner, at all.  I hate being the new girl, mostly.

This weekend we took Nate to a movie and he was great!  So, now I know we can do that together during the week.  I’m excited about that actually,  Mike wont see 27 Dresses but the baby can’t protest.  This week my Dad is visiting and I’m going to paint the living room, so that will help.  I’m going to make plans with my friend for next week, and get my scrapbook stuff back out and do a few pages while Nathan naps.   I can’t really put my finger on what else I am needing but its something.  I’m going to put some energy in to working on it, so this next step is going to be planning out our week rather than deciding if I should get dressed or not before Mike comes home.   Honestly, if our mail box weren’t across the street I’d look like a fright on most days!

Help me, what can we do?  Tell me to get over myself and join a mom’s group.  Tell me I’m really okay and it’s winter that’s getting to me… I don’t know, tell me something!


8 thoughts on “Blah!

  1. Since you live a lot farther north than me, it probably is just winter getting to you. Once it warms up and you can get out more, you’ll probably feel a lot better. And you probably do need to get out with friends more. Whether you join a mommy group, or just get in touch with old friends again, you probably should try to get out on your own sometimes and leave Nathan with his daddy for a bit.

  2. You nailed it.. you need to find some moms to hang out with. It makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE in the world to know that there are others who are or have been in your boat. If not a Mommy group, any women’s group should work.. mine is a Book Club, and I swear they keep me sane. Or you could join Paperback Swap (google it).. it’s basically an online women’s group!

  3. I’ve been feeling it, too, only I haven’t been brave enough to venture out alone with Kara yet. I’m too afraid of getting us into a car accident. But I’m going to work on that soon.

    Winter is a hard time to have a baby – you can’t walk through the park or go to the zoo or a zillion other things that require pleasant weather. I’m SO looking forward to spring!

    Also, I won’t tell you to get over yourself and join a moms group. I’m not much for that stuff, either.

  4. Hahaha, I was just about to tell you to reconsider a mom’s group, when you told yourself. You don’t need us at all. What you are, my dear, is bored. While your Nate is your everything, you need someone to refill your batteries, to have fun with, to be excited to see. I was going to suggest a gym membership since you like working out, and you could make new friends there too. See if any of your old friends want to reconnect and make playdates with their kids.

  5. The thing about mom’s clubs are that they seem forced. I don’t want to sit around talking about the color of my kid’s poop for three hours. I would rather join a knitting group – or scrapbooking club. When the only thing you have in common is children, the group can become…. horrible. The winter has a big affect on attitudes. I am from Canada and this is hibernation time. We add on layers of extra fat and bunker down!

    You might want to try a class of some sort. Like learning a new craft (something the baby can sleep through). I love the library, book stores, etc. Most importantly, find some people that you have things in common with. Natural friendships will develop. Good luck! We are here for you!

  6. I loved taking Gabe to movies. Those were the days. I had a schedule… Monday I would work out at the gym, Tuesday was movie day, Wednesday I’d work out, Thursday I would go to the mall, and Friday I would work out. I also joined several mom’s groups. Yes, it was awkward, not all of them were for me. But it was really great to talk to moms who had kids of the same age and I felt like I was not alone in my bizzare concerns or thoughts. Another bonus was to see how kids of the same age were developing. Through these groups I have met friends that I will have for the rest of my life. It took some time though (about a year) to form these close friendships. You know how the Seattle chill can be. If you can swing it, take Nathan to a Kindermusic class or Little Gym. That way you can meet other moms without feeling like you are “mommy dating”. Or you can just tell me to shut up 🙂

  7. I will be there in 22 days to help with the “what to do”! 🙂 I can not wait! Emelia is super excited too (I think”)

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