Piss and Moan

Okay, I am clearly boring the pants right off of everyone with this I’m so fantastic, pregnancy is dream stuff.  So while I am still great and all annoyingly happy I will let you all in on the stuff I haven’t been complaining about.  I know a couple of my blogging friends are trying to get pregnant and another is in her first trimester and is expecting sheer bliss in a few short weeks.  So, here it is. You have heard the good; here are the bad and the ugly.

·        My feet are officially attached at the cankle.  At first the swelling would go down at night and they were normal in the morning.  Not anymore, it’s all gout, all the time!  If I go shopping for a few hours or have been doing chores they get even bigger and are then pretty painful. I have sworn off heels, I’m in flip-flops 7 days a week.  Also, painting my toes is an exercise in contortion!

·        Boobs, OMG the boobs!  They weigh a thousand lbs each at this point and should have another growth spurt in the 3rd tri.  The next size up is mail order only.  God help me when I put them to work.

·        Sleeping is getting harder all the time.  I wake up a lot.  Rolling over has become much more effort and if I fall asleep on my back I wake up when my legs fall asleep. (This also happens when I am sitting a work)   Then there are the bathroom trips, and the almost nightly leg cramps.  My books promise all of this will get worse as we both keep growing.

·        The joint pain is almost constant.  It hits every weekday before lunch and it’s all down hill from there.  I walk as if I am 14 months pregnant and also, 90 years old.  I still don’t take any thing for relief.  I’m sort of a hard-ass about that, so I suffer although the Dr. says Tylenol would help if I weren’t so stubborn.

·        I drop everything, EVERYTHING!  And by god the floor just keeps getting farther away.  This too is pregnancy related.  As your soft muscle tissue continues to relax your grip gets weaker.  .

·        Absentmindedness. I’m very forgetful.  I leave the oven on until its time to do the dishes; I come out from the store and find I didn’t lock the car.  Did I feed the dog?  I have to keep checklists at work so I don’t loose track of what I’m supposed to get done and even with that getting a full day in is hard.  You just don’t concentrate like before and I am typically pretty brain dead by mid afternoon.  Oh how I miss my old friend, Diet Coke!

·        You don’t look like you thought you would.  I didn’t think I would gain much weight and would just have a cute little belly.  The belly is cute but the rest?  Not bad but also not what I hoped for.  

·        The round ligament stretching is annoying.  It only lasts a second and it’s not really painful but it takes me by surprise and takes your breath away every time.  These have subsided for the time being but again, my books promise a 3rd trimester return.  Awesome!

·        My belly button is half out now.  For about 4 weeks it felt like I got punched in the gut, like it was bruised.  The inside of it is still purple.   I hate that you can see it thru my tops- HATE!  I wear an undershirt everyday and I just cannot hide it.  I do not enjoy jokes about my “turkey timer”.

·        The baby is already big enough to hurt me!  He’s around 11-12 inches and just over 1 lb.  I have no idea what he’s doing in there but he finds places to get cozy that are pretty painful and I cannot make him move.  He hangs out until he’s good and ready to switch.

There is some pain and lots of tiredness and it pretty much takes over in most areas of your life.  The reason I just go on about my business?  It’s all fairly tolerable and to be expected.   Plus, I am still 20 times better than I was in the 1st tri, so I do try to keep the complaining to a minimum.   Mike does hear a lot of funny moaning and groaning, getting up off the floor or when I bend over to pick up whatever the hell it is I just dropped for the third time.  I’m actually surprised at how many things are on the list, you really get used to most of it and while sometimes it does me in, most days I’m just so stinking happy and excited that I just keep going.   His foot may be thumping on my bladder but he’s in there, moving around and healthy.  So what if its 3 am?   When’s the last time any of you woke up at 3 and smiled?

I have a lot of fun things coming up.  My trip home next week, then our Anniversary and after that, my Birthday.  Hopefully they will all give me other topics to write about that you all may find a little more entertaining.


4 thoughts on “Piss and Moan

  1. Ah the bliss of the second trimester. I loved that !! I had the joy of enduring my third trimester through summer. You think cankles are lots of fun? I had thankles – my thighs joined up to my feet – I had no kness or ankles!! I always looked forward to my belly button poppin out ( who knows why?) but it never did – that’s one of the few disappointments of my pregnancy.

  2. Checklist??? I never knew you kept checklist!!

    30 will be grand…lots of cuppycakes and ice cream. No time for prickly pear margaritas!

  3. Everyday I look at your blog to give me hope for the 2nd trimester, now you burst my bubble! LOL =)

    I already feel you on the bra thing, the first month mine got bigger (they were alreay huge) and I had to mail order only, yuck!

  4. Thank God you’re finally feeling some of the pain I felt… just kidding. Have Mike paint your toenails, and sleep in a recliner. It was totally more comfortable than bed, where it takes superhuman effort to move. I won’t tell you all the horribly embarrassing things my husband was doing for me, especially at the end. I’ll let you find out on your own.


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