If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.

 Okay it’s no surprise or secret that a protruding belly is just begging for advice and horror stories.  This couldn’t be truer of the men in my office.   Since I have come out with my news at work the stories come about two per day.  Some are down right hysterical and others?  Not so much.  I have heard about it all.  “My Mom ate a banana split everyday for 40 weeks and I was 12 lbs, DON’T eat banana splits” That one is my favorite, it’s entertaining and has some great shock value.  Holy S! You were 12 lbs? Note to self, No banana splits!  YIKES!  I get more advice about what to eat and what not to eat than I need; it’s like the diet police around here. I eat very healthy, I have even been asked, “ do you get a lot of gas, you eat a lot of fruit everyday?”  Well thanks for noticing but ummm??  I would have expected that from an office full of mothers (well except the gas question), not from 28 men!  I am asked if I’m making it to the gym, reminded that I’m not really eating for two, are you in maternity pants already,how much weight have I gained. (rude?) Then, there are the men who think its nothing!  Oh I have seen it all, just a few snip snips and they sew it all up (hand motions and all) a couple sits baths and you’re good to go.  Another, “Your husband doesn’t want to hear you bitch about the pain, just push and shut up about it!”  He swears he’s quoting a friend, I doubt it after the tuna incident.  Tuna man also says “Your carrying low, it’s a girl”.  Well genius have you ever seen a 14 week belly high?   Don’t get me wrong there are some that are really sweet, ask me how I am daily and one in particular who makes sure I don’t need him to grab me a bite when he goes out for lunch.   It’s the ones with the ass-vice that get to you.  Day in and day out, asking what’s for lunch, what did I just buy from the snack machine (I love it when I disappoint and reveal a granola bar or peanuts) or how many trips to the bathroom does that make.  I guess I’m just not used to so much attention, good or bad.  I always appreciate being asked how I am feeling and I really love it after someone remembers I have had a doctor appointment.  It’s just the other stuff.. makes me curl my lip a little.  Maybe it’s the hormones; maybe I’m really paranoid about the weight gain, maybe both.


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