Paranoid

I try not to be “that lady”.  The one that calls her OB with every twinge, spot, cramp etc.  It is hard.  When your expecting your first child you have no freaking idea if what your body is doing is normal.  I mean really, just last week I would have sworn I was showing.  I guess I had too much sodium a few days in a row because suddenly my pants fit fine and I’m not using the rubber band trick. When Dad was here he asked, “Let’s see the belly” I lifted my top with pride to show him my tiny bump. “You’re kidding yourself, that ain’t a belly!”  I was almost disappointed, although he is right it’s barley there.  Today came with a new set of worries.  The bug guy showed up at lunchtime and started spraying for insects.  Dude, I’m eating my lunch here!  Of course he can’t know that I am also pregnant so I just quietly collected my things and went to sit outside, I am out there no more than 3 minutes and someone lights up. Okay, now what?  There are so many factors you face everyday that you wouldn’t have thought twice about just a few short months ago.   Everything from the odd muscle pulling in your belly to the bag of gardening soil with fertilizer you just bought and now don’t know if you should put your gloved hand in.   I imagine this is just 1/3rd of how much worrying I will do for the rest of this child’s life, so I may as well settle in to the role and let myself just be…. That lady.  The one who loves her little nugget , the nugget that has made her crazy with forgetfulness, barf on her toothbrush and heave in front of co-workers.  I can’t wait until I can worry about you eating enough and falling off your first set of training wheels.  I guess being paranoid just comes with the job.

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3 thoughts on “Paranoid

  1. Be that lady all you want! I was that way too – and I actually think it’s very natural. Just don’t spend too much time googling mystery issues – that can make you crazy! 🙂

  2. ….then you’ll be “that mom”. ..Just like me. She’s 18mos and my husband and I still freak out. “Was that there yesterday?”…..”Did she poop today?”…”Come here, does that look red to you?”

    Youre just normal…

    oxox

  3. I wonder if I’ll be a ultra paranoid — normal paranoid — or strangely unworried mother. lol. I think whichever way it goes, we all should feel that we are doing the best we can and don’t feel bad about calling up to ask questions. That is their job anyways — to help you! 🙂

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