Party of 4

Org written November 6th.

Right, so, I peed on a stick today and holy shit, we did it.  We are having another baby. I wasn’t sure if what I’d been feeling was real or not as so many early pregnancy symptoms are identical to those of PMS but this morning when my temp shot up I knew.  I took the test.  I was shaking the whole time I was watching the hourglass flash, knowing what to expect, terrified that I expected it.  This time is so different, I mean its been 14 hours since I found out but it’s different.   This time I know what it takes to get through a pregnancy and infancy but I don’t know what it’s like to do it with a kid in the house who will be almost 3 when the baby arrives.  It’s scary.

I was grocery shopping to get ready for the in-laws visit tomorrow and wondered how do I do this with 2 kids?  If there is anything that having Nate has taught me it’s that you don’t have to know anything to get it done.  I guess I will just get it done.  Make it work.  Whatever the hell that means.

It’s also different in that while I’m a little scared I’m mostly elated.  We waited a while on purpose.  I wanted to have that feeling again, the one where you see a baby in public with bare feet and you die!  DIE- omg baby feet NOMNOMNOM!   I’ve been wanted to kiss baby feet for a while.  I’ve been ready for a while, 6 months maybe.  Before we had Nate we though we’d space them 2 years apart but when the time came neither of us was feeling it.  Eventually we had the conversation to start trying when Nate was 2, if we were ready.  It seemed that just deciding did the trick for us both.  Boy are we ready.

I hopped out of bed at 5:40am (which is like the middle of the night for me!) and couldn’t even get the test open, I was shaking so badly.  I thought it was taking too long, with Nate it popped up “Pregnant” really fast, this time I was just listening to my heart race.   But, it did pop up. 

“Guess what?”

“You’re Pregnant?”

“YEEEESS!!!”

 ”WOW!”

“Yeah, wow!”

“Are you happy?”

“YEEESS!”

“Me, too!”

I hopped back into bed where we held each other, smiling. Ready for the future, excited.   Party of 4.  Wow indeed.

The Discovery

Nate and I watched The Polar Express (or, two-choo spress’) yesterday and it got me thinking of when I discovered that Santa was a big fat lie.

I was a sneaky kid; I knew all of the hiding places and young.  That tunnel down the middle of the water-bed, under the basement stairs, the china cabinet and the big orange storage cabinet in the garage.  If you bought it, I would find it.   To me, finding the gift was more exhilarating than opening one on the proper day.  The risk of getting  caught, or the thrill of poking a hole in wrapping paper or if I had the time, slicing the tape on the back, peaking in and re-taping it.  One Christmas I was so bad that it got gifts banned from under the tree for life. FOR LIFE!  Oy, that sucked.  I had poked holes or half opened all of the gifts, all of them, didn’t matter who they were for, I had to know what was inside.  I vividly remember blaming one tiny finger hole on my cat, you know, the one without claws, or fingers.  I said I was sneaky, not smart.

Anyway, one year when I would guess I was about 6 since I only remember Heidi being around, I didn’t find a gift but I found a clue.  See, at our house, even before the big gift ban Santa would leave his presents on the fireplace, one for each kid all in the same paper with a tag.  I recognized the paper I saw in Mom’s closet was on the gifts from Santa. 

Like I said, I was about 6 but I wasn’t upset by this discovery.  For whatever reason I wasn’t that surprised, I don’t know if it had been going around school or what but it wasn’t that big of a deal.   What I did care about was protecting Heidi!  Oh, come hell or high water my little sister was going to be a believer if I had anything to do with it.  Somehow at that age I grasped the magic of the holiday and there was no way it was going to be spoiled for her.  I don’t know how I did, or how she found out but I know I went along with every story every spoken of the man in the red suit. 
Do you remember how you found out?

Thankful: Family

I would imagine most of us are thankful for this today.  Whether you’re all together at the same table loving every minute or you got stuck sitting next to your Aunts new creepy boyfriend and are trying not to stab him in the hand with your fork, or, maybe your alone today.   Regardless, the holidays mean family to me.  Family is a very large umbrella, like, a golf umbrella, where your actual family and your created family all reside.  Even if the thought of them all being in the same room makes you hit the sauce and feel like your universes are about to collide.  Anyway..

Today we are in Tampa at my Dad’s dining table with my s-Mom Sue and the three of us.  I’ve been looking forward to this trip for a few months since I haven’t seen Dad since last Thanksgiving which means that Nate is a whole new kid since our last visit.   I am thankful that we are able to travel, that my Dad has a home that can accommodate us and that I have such a wonderful relationship with him.  No matter how much time has passed when we are together it’s as if it has only been a week. I am thankful for the few days we will have to spend here and that I can watch my Dad and my boy at Sea World and witness my Dad in his role of Grandpa, a hat he wears quite well.

Another reason I’ve been so looking forward to this trip is to tell my family in person, that in July, we will be welcoming another member. We’re pregnant. Today I am thankful for family!

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Holidays are here!

Can I tell you that I’ve been dying to decorate for Christmas for about two weeks already?  I have.  Normally I’m a little scroogy and don’t like to speak of such things until the week of Thanksgiving but this year, it has hit me early, and, hard.  I can’t wait.  I truly think it’s all because of Nate. 

We have “backyard neighbors” (neither of us have a fence so we sort of share a yard) and they have a pine tree right on the border of our properties, they lit it up last night and I had to have every curtain and bind pulled because Nate HAD to see it from every room in the house.  We go to Target (which he now requests;”Go buy-buy?  Go to Target!) and they have decorations hanging from the ceiling and he flips out, I take him to the back corner to see the “TREES! Kismass tree LIGHTS!”  just for fun.  I cannot wait for this Christmas.  It is going to rule.

But, before Christmas comes Thanksgiving!  Whoo!  Excited for it, too.   We are headed to Tampa again this year to be with my dad and s-mom.   I can’t wait to get there.  It’s an interesting thing to visit a parent and feel at home and on vacation at the same time.   That is a combo I am ready for!  I just want to be there in the sunshine with my Dad and my son in the same room and Sue and I in the kitchen smelling the turkey.   I can’t wait!

What are you doing this week?  I hope you’re lucky enough to be surrounded by people you love and who know how to cook a mean bird!

Thankful: Partnership

Today has been a lovely Saturday, one that couldn’t take place without support.

The alarm woke me at 8 to shower for my day, Mike and the tot already up.  I showered in peace, was greeted a short time later by said tot in his “supr’ pup peejey’s” and was out the door by 9. 

Carrie and I drove thru Starbucks, went to Tiny Canary where we purchased some amazing hand-made goodies, had lunch downtown and then went to a fabric shop that nearly killed me (hello, inspiration) and to a children’s boutique.   Just when I thought the day was as good as it could get I came home to find Nate napping.  Then, I took a nap, too.

I know that having one kid and keeping a house isn’t the hardest job out there, quite the opposite actually.  That being said, for me, it’s hard at times (like when he’s awake)(I kid)  as much as I adore my son and my husband it is absolutely essential that I have time away and to do things that bring me back to who I am.  Without the support of Mike these days couldn’t happen.  He encourages me to get out and take a breath.   Today I am thankful for him allowing me to do just that.

Thankful: Naptime

Today I am grateful for peace and quite and a little break to take a breath, eat my lunch and rest a little.

Naptime serves many purposes for both of us.  His reasons are obvious,  he needs to sleep to grow, he needs to gear up for the afternoon of madness that is being a 2 year old boy.  Mama needs it for many other reasons.

Naptime is my PTO.  I get everything or nothing done during naptime.  I get the one meal of the day were dimpled hands are not grabbing at my food or my chin asking me to “aaaa” wanting to look at my chewed up food.  It’s when I get to read a magazine, watch tv, clean up, take a shower and sometimes, take a nap too.

Oh, naps!  I’m a sleeper, always have been.  I know  you will shake your head but I need 9 hours of sleep per night to survive.  I’m not much for sleeping in though, I make it to bed around 10 so I get my sleep by the time Nate wakes up around 7:30.    So I get a lot of sleep  and sometimes I curl up on the couch and take a nap in the middle of the day.  Sometimes I even go to bed.

Ahhh, it’s good!  Naptime, please stick around until pre-school.  Please?

Thankful: Chioces

Mike and I worked hard to get where we are today.  Hard.   The past two years have turned my life upside down;  simultaneously having a baby and leaving the workforce.   Mike’s life has changed a lot, too.  In one instant he became a Father and the bread winner.

When we got pregnant with Nate we figured I could stay home for one year and we would reassess.  Two years later it’s still working out.  We are afloat but more importantly, happy. 

This is working for us.  Me staying home with the boy, Mike working ( HARD and A LOT) and maintaining a really healthy quality of life.   I love what I am doing, I love it.   Cleaning a toilet is a dream compared to month end at my old job.  Shoot, an overnight barfing baby was better than month end!

I know I am lucky to live this life, to be in a situation where I have a choice.   I know I am lucky and I am so thankful to Mike for choosing a path that allowed us this choice.

Thankful: In Laws

This morning we said goodbye to Grandma and Grandpa after a wonderful long weekend together.   We were able to cram a lot into 3 days and still have plenty of time to relax.

Today I am grateful for my In Laws.  They come to visit us often despite the distance.  They come ready to love and play with their grandson, ready to cook us dinner and let us sit down.  They are a gift. 

My adult life isn’t what I imagined in terms of active family members.  Having Mikes family has helped me in so many ways.  I know this often, I seldom say so.  Today I want it known.  Today I say out loud that I love them all.  

I’m going to post a lot of this during the month of November.  Please play along in the comments if you’d like to share what you’re thankful for today.

It’s not pretty

 

Wow! That is hideous!  I bet you didnt realize that my handwriting is so bad. I dont use capitals and apparently I prefer a dash to a period.   I’d love to see yours.  If you post it let me know.

Candy for me you have?

Halloween #2 was awesome!  We had a blast handing out candy with Nate and visiting a few neighbors with him.  He couldnt get enough, until a full-blown man (seriously,  I bet he was my age) came up in a gorilla suit.  One look at him and Nate ran in the house as fast as he could.   That wasnt our only drama with the kid.  He was not a fan of his costume.

It started out great  he was in his clothes that go under it.

Then it took a turn for the worse. 

 

After about an hour of seeing the kids dressed up he let me put it on.  Then it was a par-tay! 

I swear to you, life is so great with this kid that I can’t wait for tomorrow*, the day after, Thanksgiving,kindergarten, all of it.  I just can’t get enough of this.

*unless he doesnt nap because OMG y’all, its been weeks since this kid has taken a nap.  Sleep regression not included in the above “life is good” statement.